Renkotsu’s unmentionable afternoon
by kirayasha aka kira
Summary: Jak cons Ren into coming with him to buy Ban a birthday present.


Title: Renkotsu's unmentionable afternoon  
Author/Artist: cheshirejin & kira  
Rating: Older Teen  
AU/CU: AU  
Word Count: 2,152  
Warnings/Spoilers/Work Safe?: nothing major; just cross-dressing, sexual innuendo/ use own judgment as to work safeness

Genre: Cross-over/humor

Characters: Jakotsu, Renkotsu, and Ayame, Mine from "Fruits Basket"

Summary: Jak cons Ren into coming with him to buy Ban a birthday present.

888

Jakotsu strolled along, window shopping while he waited for his life-partner to finish his business meeting. They were going to meet for at the Antique for lunch until a call from Bankotsu made that a lost cause. He was still tied up with his meeting and they were ordering in. So the cross-dresser decided to use the time shopping for his life-partner's birthday. One of his favorite places to shop, Ayame's, was about two blocks away. He and his wardrobe mistress had discovered the shop a few months ago while out looking for some new wardrobe items for his character Emiko.

He hurried along, enjoying the unusually warm February day. As he crossed the street, Jakotsu spotted a familiar figure coming at him on his motorcycle. Leaning out into the roadway, and gesturing broadly, he waved the rider down. "Ren!! Is that you?"

Renkotsu came to a screeching halt. Ripping off his helmet, he yelled, "You're an idiot! You know that?! You could have got us both killed!"

The cross-dresser blinked. "Oh… Sorry. Well, since we're both alright, are you doing anything?"

The custom motorcycle maker stared at his friend like he had three heads. "You've got to be kidding me…"

"No… My Ban honey's birthday is this Sunday and I know a great place to get a present for him."

Renkotsu looked around. "Let's get out of the street and you can tell me all about it."

Jakotsu smiled. "Sure!"

They made their way over to the curb and Renkotsu parked the bike. Still sitting on the motorcycle, and calculating his chances of escape, he folded his arms neatly across his chest and waited.

"There's this great lil shop a couple of doors down called, Ayame's, I went shopping in there a few times for Emiko's wardrobe and I figure while I went in to see if my dresses were done, I'd get something Ban would like."

"It's a dress shop?"

"No, Ayame's sells fantasies. Men's fantasies…" The cross-dresser winked.

"It's a sex shop?" Renkotsu made a face and started to put his helmet back on.

"No… not that kind of a sex shop." The cross-dresser rolled his eyes at him.

"Enlighten me, as I didn't think Emiko was that kind of a girl," his friend said.

Jakotsu sighed. "Men have certain fantasies. Sessh, for example, loves to see Rin dressed like a little girl, even though they have one of their own. Naraku loves the slutty two-bit whore look. And Sui, loves the Mexican hairless look," he teased, although Renkotsu was clearly not amused. "And my Ban honey loves me in sexy underwear… Especially red silk underwear…"

"Wait, you want me to go underwear shopping with you?"

"Yes! And before you go to tell me how gay that is, in case you've forgotten, you're screwing a guy too and that makes you just as gay as I am; get used to the lifestyle. So you'll do it, right? Please?!" The cross-dresser made huge pleading eyes at him.

Shaking his head, Renkotsu said, "As much as I'm sorely tempted to say, 'no,' I'll go, since you asked so nicely."_ And since I have nothing better to do at the moment…_

"Yeah?"

Renkotsu nodded. "Yeah." _Although why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret it?_

"Thanks, Ren!" The cross-dresser started to walk away. Stopping, he looked over his shoulder at his friend. "What are you waiting for?"

"Me to recover my sanity," his friend quipped.

Rolling his eyes at him, the cross-dresser waited impatiently for him to catch up. Five minutes later, they entered the shop. The bell, hanging from the top of door, jingled merrily. Renkotsu looked around and was surprised to see a fairly normal looking shop filled with bolts of fabric and a few completed outfits. It actually looked more like a fabric and notions store than a sex shop and the custom motorcycle maker visibly relaxed.

"Where is everyone?"

"Probably in the back with another patron," Jakotsu replied. "Ooh! There's my dress!" he cried, pulling his friend over to a slinky red gown. It was a blood red silk charmeuse, with a simple boat neckline and three quarter sleeves. It gave the impression of being rather conservative with a touch of sexiness due the way it draped itself on the dress form.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope… Ban told Aya what he wanted and this is what they came up with. It's backless, by the way." Jakotsu led him around it.

"That's more like it," Renkotsu chuckled.

"Can I help you?" a soft feminine voice asked.

"Kuramae-san?" Jakotsu said as he turned around.

"Ah, Hibiya-san! How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks, and you?"

"Just peachy!"

They giggled.

"Set a date yet?" Jakotsu asked.

"Not yet…" She smiled. "So, who's your friend?"

"Sugita Renkotsu. Ren, this is Kuramae Mine."

"Pleased to meet you," they chorused.

"Anyway…" Jakotsu said airily, "Is Sohma-san here?"

"He's on the phone, but he'll be with you as soon as possible. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I'm looking for a gift for my Ban honey."

"Anything special?"

"Red, silk, and sexy," the cross-dresser said.

Mine giggled. "Well, your gown is ready."

"He's looking for lingerie," Renkotsu said dryly.

Mine looked at him, the light glinting off her glasses in a way that made Renkotsu regret ever opening his mouth. "Come with me!" she said, taking the cross-dresser by the arm. She practically dragged him into the backroom and Renkotsu was unsure if he should follow or not.

"You coming, Ren?"

_Like I have a choice…_ He quickly dogged their heels.

888

Renkotsu sat there on the plush velvet sofa, wondering how and why he ever let Jakotsu talk him into this. Mine sat on the other end, plying him with tea and cookies. She would occasionally throw glances his way, especially when the cross-dresser would saunter out in various stages of undress to ask for his opinion on what he was wearing.

"How's this look, Ren?" Jakotsu asked. He was modeling a pair of red satin, skin-tight tap pants and camisole that looked they would burst at the seams if he moved wrong, not to mention a certain bit of anatomy that was hanging out for all to see. Renkotsu had the feeling that was supposed to be the intention. From where he sat he couldn't see any visible body hair on the other man and Renkotsu found himself speculating if Jakotsu went for a full Brazilian wax job regularly or not. Of course, once he realized he was even thinking about that combined with the mental images he had, had him desperately wishing he was elsewhere.

"Uh…" _Are you trying to scar me for life or what?_ Suddenly finding his voice, Renkotsu said emphatically, "You look like your butt is trying to eat your shorts, Jak!" He smiled briefly at him when the cross-dresser giggled, all the while praying his outfit would remain intact until he got back to the dressing room.

"It's a good look for him none-the-less…" someone said from over Renkotsu's shoulder. "Not many men, or women for that matter, have the curve at the base of the spine to pull off that vintage look. Turn around, Jaki-san"

Jakotsu slowly spun on his heel.

Renkotsu slowly turned his head in the direction of the velvety voice that had purred in his ear. Eyes widening in shock, he found himself face to face with a man whose silvery locks rivaled that of Jakotsu's friend Sesshomaru. He looked into the most amazing pair of golden topaz eyes and just blinked at him for what felt like an eternity.

"He's beautiful isn't he? He took my breath away the first time I saw him too."

The custom bike designer nodded stupidly.

Ayame beamed at him. "And who is this gorgeous slab of masculinity, Jaki-san? Do I have to tell your Ban on you?"

Jakotsu laughed. "Nah… there's only one man for me, Ayame-san. And this one belongs to my best friend. Ren, Ayame, Ayame, Ren."

"Aah… True love, it's a beautiful thing to behold for those lucky enough to experience it, wouldn't you say? It's enough to bring a tear to one's eye I tell you, for where would our lonely souls find warmth and shelter but in the glowing embers of their true love's embrace…" He sighed dramatically.

"Uh, yeah… I never thought of it that way…" Renkotsu frowned. "But yeah…" He smiled as thoughts of his lover, Suikotsu danced in his shiny bald head.

Ayame looked at him knowingly, before turning his attention to his assistant. "Mine dear, could you please go get that red silk teddy; you know the one…" he said, trading a significant look with her.

She nodded, and with a quick glance at Renkotsu, she hurried off to get the garment in question.

Ayame made his way around the sofa, taking the seat Mine had just vacated. Giving Renkotsu a seductive look, he purred, "Good, now go get ready for the one that'll fan the flames of passion, Jaki-san! Just wait until you see him in it, Ren-san." Ayame winked at him.

Giggling, Jakotsu went to do as he was bidden. Inside the dressing the room, he found one last item that he decided to try on for fun while waiting for Mine. Squeezing out of the camisole and tap pants, he pulled on the cherry red, barely-there thong and stepped out of the dressing room.

Renkotsu, who had been listening to Ayame prattle on about his more famous customers, looked in the general direction of the dressing room, just as Jakotsu stepped out of it. Jaw dropping, and face turning beet red, he shot the store's owner a murderous look when Ayame said, "Doesn't he look good enough to eat?"

"No he doesn't!"

"You mouth says, 'no,' but your eyes say, 'yes,'" Ayame purred. "Could it be you're one of Jaki-san's many admirers? Oh how tragic! To be so in love and only a friend…" he patted Renkotsu sympathetically on the knee.

The custom bike designer stood up to leave. "That's it! I'm out of here! You can go play dress-" He stopped speaking as Mine had come back, and grabbing Jakotsu by the arm, she dragged him back to the dressing room. The sight of the cross-dresser's naked rear end had him palming his face, while Ayame chuckled knowingly.

"You are a fan!"

Renkotsu glared at him.

Adopting a more serious air, Ayame said, "Sit and let the real show begin. What you are about to see is a real fantasy in the making. This is the stuff that fills his Ban's dreams…" He paused and poured himself another cup of tea. "Would you like some more?"

"No thank you…" Renkotsu sat and Ayame for once kept quiet while they waited. _You do know to shut up… Amazing… _

This time, when Jakotsu emerged from the dressing room, the custom bike designer found his jaw dropping again. The cross-dresser was a vision of old Hollywood glamour, a look that suited him. The teddy was deep crimson, that while cut high in the leg, also covered up things meant to be covered. In fact, its simple lines were playfully naughty which nicely summed up Jakotsu's flirtatious nature.

"What do you think, Ren?" the cross-dresser asked.

"I think you should get it and let's go!"

"Anything else you need, Jaki-san?"

"Not at the moment, Ayame-san. I'll be taking this as well as the other stuff I've tried on."

"For your fan clubs?"

"Of course, as well as a few charity organizations. You'd be surprised how many people want my underwear." Jakotsu giggled.

"Tell me about it!" Ayame laughed. "After you sent me that framed picture of you wearing that lacey red bikini along with the garment in question, sales went up tenfold around valentines day." He turned to Renkotsu. "It's hanging up over there on the wall."

"Okay… Well, if you're done with me, Jak, I'll be seeing you."

"Wait! I'll be ready in five minutes!" the cross-dresser cried, hurrying towards the dressing room.

Ten minutes later, they stepped out of the shop and were greeted by a small army of paparazzi. Camera's flashing; the two ignored the questions thrown their way as they pushed through the crowds. Things got even crazier when Ayame emerged from his shop and called out, "You forget your underwear, Jaki-san!" He waved a bit of red lace in the air, drawing the paparazzi's attention. They were practically salivating over the thought of the juicy details the shop keeper was about to impart to them.

"Who was that gorgeous slab of man flesh with him? Well, I forget his name… I know, I know, but the darling must have me told several different ones. You know, I think might be royalty or something. But anyway, he's got a definite underwear fetish. I think Jaki-san must have tried on hundreds…"


End file.
